New Diet

I started a new diet this morning. And no, it doesn't involve eating less food, it actually means eating more junk food. This diet won't last till wednesday though.

A friend bought round chocolate cake and cheese cake from a party. Seeing as my house consists of nothing that has those trans fatty acids in them, I started drooling as soon as I saw that cake. Dee - lish.

I am literally starved for MSG and poly unsaturated fatty foods, I long for them, and that's exactly why I have a secret stash hidden, filled with biscuits, so now my cravings can be handled.

I'm not an addict or anything, although, this one time I didn't have ANY biscuits or cake for 24 hours, I was cold, screaming in my bed, my parents wouldn't listen, the worst was the hallucination of that baby on the roof. Kak scary!!

But alas, I am cured, the sugar levels are back to sky rocketing normal, and the shakes are gone courtesy of Budoirs.

Anyhoo, I have been loving the Olympics. The swimming and gymnastics are my favourite, and the pole vault, that one just freaks me out. The thought of that pole snapping while that hopeless, overtrained, broad-shouldered, unibrowed, sinewy legs, big-mouthed athlete holds on for dear life just repels me.

I've always wondered how they get started in that... "Here you go Olga, now take this pole and jump over that big pole at the top there."
"My daddy told me not to do anything with poles."
"Yes, well we're not living in Poland now, idiot! So jump over the fucking pole and land on the mat, otherwise I will teach what I can do with this pole!"
"But now there's three poles, I'm confused.."
"There, you happy now, back to two."

And so on and so on. Definitely not getting involved in that sport.

• The small thing that made me smile today: I saw a bitch today. An actual man-bitch. He was standing outside this shop with earphones dancing and mouthing the words to Mariah Careys new vomit song 'Touch my body.' Even at that I started flinching, then all of a sudden this older guy in a tight tank top comes out the shop, puts his arm around him and they go off frolicking together. Holy shit. I was actually more intrigued than anything. I wonder what their situation was...